Today ended up being unexpectedly positive. I’ve been waiting quite a long time to get a couple of moles removed from my back, low urgency, routine sort of stuff, and completely out of nowhere I got a call from my doctor asking if I could get there within 30 minutes because they’d had a cancellation.
That was a nice surprise.
So off I went, and a little while later the offending lumps had been cut out and sent away for pathology. My back is definitely sore now, and I’m moving around like an old bear who’s lost a fight with a hedge, but I’m genuinely glad it’s done. Now comes the waiting part, but honestly I’m expecting the report to come back with nothing concerning. Fingers crossed anyway.
The bigger realisation today, though, is this: I’ve decided I’m going to Birmingham Pride.
That probably sounds like a very normal sentence to most people, but for me, it feels surprisingly significant. After everything I’ve written recently about loneliness, isolation, struggling to reach out, and not feeling safe asking people for support… the fact I not only decided to go, but actually asked mates if I could stay with them, feels like a massive step forward mentally.
And they immediately offered. No awkwardness. No hesitation. Just “of course.” I don’t think I realised how much I needed that.
I’m not planning to throw myself into the full chaos of Pride weekend. I know my limits, and huge crowds can still become overwhelming for me very quickly. But dipping into parts of it, especially the leather social side of things, feels exciting rather than frightening — and that’s new.
I may also have accidentally bought myself some new leather gear for the occasion.
I wasn’t planning to… but equally, I felt like I deserved something nice as a reward for pushing myself.
And yes, it’ll probably be the first public outing for the new cock too 😄
I’m nervous about that, but also weirdly positive about it. The filler has settled really well overall, even if there are still a few little tweaks I’d like the doctor to make next round where things haven’t quite reached every nook and cranny yet.
Still… the confidence shift is very real. I hope.
One of my mates has also asked — or perhaps offered — to sub for me a bit over the weekend. He’s very into pain play, and apparently trusts me enough to hand me a riding crop and see what happens. Which means I may have accidentally bought one of those, too.
I used to be much more into that side of myself than I’ve allowed myself to be in recent years, so there’s something interesting about reconnecting with it. I suspect he’ll be receiving the occasional completely unexpected stroke across the ass at some point during the weekend 😄
All in all, today feels… hopeful. Sore back. Slightly bruised ego from sprinting to the GP at short notice. Slightly overexcited inner leather bear. But hopeful.
And honestly?
I think I’ll sleep well tonight while planning that weekend.
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