I have been interviewing for a new job for the last few weeks. It’s one that I know I can do and one with a prestigious company. It is taking its toll on me; five interviews is a bit much for anyone, and each time I’ve interviewed, I’ve been led to think it’s the last stage. Today (Tuesday 19th) should be the final interview; this is odd, as it’s a chat with someone who still needs to start her new role at the company. My head and my friends are telling me this is a good sign; they are working out to get along, as the new person has a similar role, but with a global outlook. So, I will bring myself down and put on a professional and friendly face.
I have to admit that the time it’s taking me to find a new job is getting me down. I am highly experienced and good at what I do. It’s understood that there are not many roles in my line of work, but I’m not even getting interviews for ones I feel I’m a perfect fit for.
I fear running out of time and will need a much lower-paying temporary job to pay the bills. Which is another hit to my depression.
I recently had some issues with a tooth and had it extracted, which went well until a week ago when I felt what I thought was a broken piece of the tooth coming out of my gum. At the dentist yesterday, she checked, and it was actually a little bone spur growing due to the extraction. The corrective work cost more than I would have liked. Another hit to my depression. She also prescribed me antibiotics, metronidazole, which makes me feel constantly queasy. What a joy I will be today.
Once again, I feel stuck in a repeating loop of the universe wanting to push me down. Something my head knows is not valid, my depressive voice is keen to remind me, and my heart feels heavy.
In the daytime, I care for my brother’s dog; he’s a lovely little lad. Recently, he has become more dominant and vocal, which is typical of his age. But he’s developed a habit of not wanting to back on the lead at the end of a walk, which is annoying, to say the least. But it’s also a cause for concern for my folks, who are overprotective of him, so for the time being, I have to find ways of tricking the dog into letting me put him back on the lead.
When I move on, I will miss the little ‘poo-bag’; he’s an adorable idiot who also likes to come and stand on my laptop keyboard when he wants attention.
Living with my family has many upsides; it’s done wonders for my mental health and has taken away many of the everyday day-to-day stresses of life. However, I lack ‘personal time’. I’m more on the asexual side of things these days, but sometimes I do like to watch some porn and have some personal time. It’s got so bad that I think I have recently started to have wet dreams, not sexy ones, just my body emptying the tanks, so to speak.
Hopefully, this week will be better than I can imagine. I hope so; I do, I really do, as I need my own space again, even if its just to watch some filth.
Until our paths pixelate again, keep weaving your unique tapestry of tales. Stay whimsically wonderful, and let serendipity be your guide. Ta-ta for now, cosmic companions!
ᗷIOᑎIᑕᗷEᗩᖇᑌK 