It’s been a busy week with job hunting, interviews, and a trip to Birmingham to spend time with my friends. On top of that, today is my birthday, and I’ve travelled to London for an appointment that could have been a phone call.
Towards the end of last week, I booked two-second interviews for the jobs in my pipeline. One for a role I’d enjoy, the other for one that would be OK but not quite what I’d typically settle for. Having said that, I won’t complain; at least people are interviewing me.
I’ve had a few knockbacks for roles I should be interviewed for; my last company, I suspect, is holding me back. It’s a relatively unknown name in the fintech world, and it can have a bad reputation for those who know it.
So after booking two-second interviews on the same day I had to drive 2 hours to see my friends. It was a lovely weekend, and it was nice to be around fellow poofs like myself. They showed me around the city, and we ate out, etc. Leaving them was difficult, as I was returning to my family home and worrying about what may happen if I didn’t get a job soon or if I’d be forced into a situation where I had to move back to London. My heart longs to be near my friends, but my mind and my depression say other things. Grrrrr.
On returning, I had little time to decompress before I had to begin my preparation for the round 2 interviews, and sleep illuded me. Wonderful!
The interviews themselves seemed OK; the most interesting one went better than the other, and the Head of Engineering for the second was a hard nut to crack; he was very impressed by himself and seemed to feel that he was better than everyone else on the call. It is challenging to work with and , to be honest,not something that I find impressive.
Once the interviews were out, I had to pack for my day trip to London. It was for a hospital appointment, which could have been done on the phone; however, I secretly fancied a journey on the train. Nonetheless, the 6:30am start could have been better.
I was supposed to hear back from you on the second interview today, but the recruiter was busy. I don’t want to read too much into it, so I’m staying positive.
And…. It’s my birthday, yes; with the train journey and job hunt, I’ve not felt in the mood, but today, no matter what I think, say or do, I’m 48 years old. It’s hard for me to get my head around; the only bit I do ‘get’ is that my age counts against me recruitment-wise. It shouldn’t; legal protections exist, but it does. I plan to get my life and career back on track.
One of the key parts of my depression was watching all my successes be downtrodden by my last employer and my presence in the market destroyed as the employer would not approve of my attending conferences. Once upon a time, my entire client base knew who I was, trusted me, and respected me. Over the last ten years, that slipped away, and it’s been a very hard pill to swallow.
Learning to be kind to yourself and understanding what was out of your control is more challenging than you expect. So much of my misery was caused by my last employer, and they will never understand that the office I worked in was like something from the early 1980s that had never been refitted; that was a constant reminder of how backward they were. I should have moved sooner, but my depression kicked in before I realised I should move. And for that, I need to be kind to myself; it was the situation, not my reaction to it, that was at fault.
Please be kind to yourself and learn from my mistakes.
Well, well, well! That’s enough about me, let’s talk about you. I hope your day is as delightful as a fliberty gibbet, and as enchanting as a unicorn’s mane. Until we meet again, my dear friend!
ᗷIOᑎIᑕᗷEᗩᖇᑌK 