It’s been a long few days, what with looking after two flu-riddled parents and living with a young cocker spaniel. Although I am a guest in the house and living rent-free, I understand that my parents may need my help, regardless of whether or not they want it. So, I’ve done everything possible to ensure they are hydrated and comfortable while they ride out the flu.
So, with that its been a weekend of running around, popping to the shops, cooking for them and my brother, cleaning and general nursemaiding. None of which I minded.
I received two interview offers for jobs today, which I was excited about and hoping to share with someone for supportive feedback. However, to my disappointment, the person I shared the news with seemed to be more focused on learning about a 72-year-old man’s health condition. The man had recently undergone surgery for his bum and was now diagnosed with an unknown type of cancer. It was disheartening to feel like my news was overshadowed by something else.
Later that day, I mentioned to someone that my brother had a quiet weekend, while I had been busy running around. However, I was corrected and told that my brother works hard and therefore, deserves a quiet weekend. I wasn’t expecting that response because I was just making small talk. My brother’s job involves manual labor and he is good at it. But, at the age of forty, he still lives with our parents and relies on them for his meals, laundry, and more. Meanwhile, I have been out in the world doing everything for myself.
On Monday nights, I attend an online class that I really enjoy. Unfortunately, I missed last week’s class as I was feeling unwell. When I told my mother about it, all she said was that I was a naughty boy for not attending and that I should do better. Although she may have been trying to be funny, her words deeply affected me, especially given my struggles with depression.
I still dont think they understand depression one bit. It’s so frustrating when others fail to comprehend the depth of depression.
I am feeling stressed out and have a headache as a result of missing my class. This is making me feel even more nervous and guilty as I was already feeling this way before. My friend who attends the class is one of my closest mates, and I feel like I’ve let him down. It’s difficult for me to join next week because of this. I am disappointed in myself and feel like I am a lazy failure. It’s frustrating!
How can I help two elderly individuals who have never experienced depression and have difficulty comprehending the workings of the modern world? They believe that by applying for a job that requires only two days a week in the office, I would be taking advantage of the other three days and not working. I’m not sure I can explain it, but I do need to get comfortable with the fact I’ll never be quite as understood as my straight brother thats had 2 kids but still lives at home with his parents. Its not easy.
Take care and don’t forget to give that your cute doggo a good belly rub for me!
ᗷIOᑎIᑕᗷEᗩᖇᑌK 