Emotionally, it’s been a tough week, and the week started with me researching new jobs and even applying for some. The jobs in the location I want are less well-paid than I’m used to, and I now wonder if I could live in the same city where I work. I will need to commute to London a bit, so I must ensure that any positions are hybrid and have limited time in the office. Two days a week at most, I can stay overnight for one night rather than two.
On Monday, I had my first Japanese lesson; it went well, except for having to get used to the remote classroom environment.
By mid-week, I was at least starting to get into the habit of looking at job posts; even if I knew the next day, I would feel like crap because of it; again, I think this might be a step forward.
Thursday was a bit of an odd one; I ended up having an afternoon nap after a long walk in the park with the dog, and most of the dreams were related to ‘going home’, returning to my old flat, and the solitary comfort it provided. It wasn’t pleasant. Unfortunately, no one here wanted to talk on Thursday night, so I was again left dealing with it alone.
For the last couple of days, I’ve kept myself to myself, spending time in my room and watching TV or on the web. I also researched new furniture for my ‘new life’ outside London. I have not been looking for a flat until I’ve been working for a couple of months, but planning is a comfort, demonstrating a change in my mind. Somewhere inside, I must think that I do deserve a future.
So, the past week has continued my journey of self-reflection and decision-making. The emotional toll of exploring new job opportunities and contemplating a location change has brought about a range of feelings, from uncertainty to glimpses of hope. My dream-filled Thursday served as a poignant reminder of the longing for the familiarity of the past, yet the determination to plan for a ‘new life’ outside London signifies a shift in my mindset. Despite the solitude, the process of self-discovery and planning for the future suggests a newfound sense of purpose and resilience is building.
Until next time and like the combination of jelly and custard, I say “Cheers” to the sweet, tangy, and magical adventures ahead! 🌈✨
ᗷIOᑎIᑕᗷEᗩᖇᑌK 