ᗷIOᑎIᑕᗷEᗩᖇᑌK

I’ve spent the last few days in furious activity, updating my professional profile site with sample documents from my previous two significant positions. I expected it to be depressing, but quite the opposite happened.

While browsing through my archives, I was reminded that I am good at what I do; I looked at the fruits of my labour and felt positive.

Not too long ago, I used to believe that I had not achieved anything worthwhile in my career and that it was all pointless. But now, looking at these brochures, data sheets, and sales playbooks, I can confidently say that they are proof of my abilities and expertise in my field. Part of me expected to be consumed with the negativity from my last role, where a group board criticised every paragraph, sentence and word with little or no understanding of the subject matter.

In recent years, a barrage of hyper-critical negativity chipped away at my self-worth, pushing me into a downward spiral of depression. It all reached a tipping point, leading to what felt like a mini-breakdown. Back then, I shouldered the blame for the depression, but with newfound clarity, I see it was a completely normal response to their toxic behavior.

This exercise was another reminder that I must be careful and selective when joining a new company and taking on a new role. I aim to steer clear of the financial services sector within the software industry, as it often harbors ex-bankers with an inflated sense of self-importance, who, frankly, come off as aggressive jerks.

While I’m currently in a positive and optimistic mindset, I recognize the need for caution in job applications. Maintaining this positive outlook is crucial, but it’s equally important to strike a balance and avoid delusionary overconfidence. The key lies in blending confidence with a realistic approach, which may be easier said than done, but I think the risk is worth it, and I am worth it.

Until our paths cross again, may your day be delightfully peculiar, filled with the hypnotic croaks of a perfunctory toad residing in an otherworldly hole.