At the moment, the most common phrase I keep hearing from my family is, ‘You just need to ignore it’. This retort to ‘ignore it’ is often used when someone has done something offensive or unacceptable. For example, my neice is allowed to get away with absolute murder, she walks in, takes over the TV, flicks between channels, and then sits staring at her phone, without a thought for anyone else. This behaviour is I’m told, something I should ignore.
I’m used to living on my own, doing things my own way, and being quiet. I enjoy being on my own, I like my own space. Living with family again is hard, I’m having to make many many concessions for them. I dont think the realise how many.
I’m not an aggressive person; I loathe conflict, but at some point, I will ‘blow my top’ with some behaviours that are just plain rude and selfish. But I know I’ll be considered to be in the wrong.
This realisation that if I assert myself, I will be ‘in the wrong’ is an interesting one. Its something I’ve struggled with in my personal life, and work, for years. I dont assert myself as I assume whomever I am challenging will fight back, attack me, and I will end up feeling that I am in the wrong, and should not have bothered in the first place. This is the first time I realised where I get this trait.
Hmmn… interesting, once I have engaged a new therapist, this will most certainly be a topic of conversation.
In other news, my offers to cook etc are going on deaf ears, my mother likes to be in control in the kitchen. Shes a good cook, I learnt from her. However I’m aware that she gets sick of cooking. I wish she’d let me cook more, that at lease would make me feel more useful, and she could take a break.
Right off to spend more time with my folks and most likely learn of other traits I learned from them. Till next time, I wish you a throbbing cheese and grated bakerlite sandwich.
ᗷIOᑎIᑕᗷEᗩᖇᑌK 